Temporary Archive: Suzanne Brockmann's Message Board

wow - that starting position makes me severely claustrophobic!

you mentioned 'feeling your broken nose" - but you also have to deal with the shock of realizing "yes, it is happening to me".

I would have to say that jabs to the eyes or larynx, biting the face or nose if it's in reach,
maybe pulling the hair to pull his head back, but wow, now I'm struggling here to breathe, just thinking about 200 pounds of unwanted man on top of me.

I might mention here that I had an intruder in my apartment when I lived in Ohio. The incident was so shocking to me because it was a great neighborhood, it happened on a Friday in October @ 10;30 in the morning. And there he was inside my apartment, hiding behind the front door.

Paying attention literally saved me from being raped, because when unlocked my door (it was already unlocked but that I couldn't tell) and then I kicked my front door (the only door)open with my foot, becasue I was carrying two bags of groceries, however the door didn't swing all the way open like it should have.

It stopped short (he was so big that the door hit his shoulder and wouldn't open any further) and when the door stopped ...I came to a dead stop just outside the door........ at first, I just thought "that's not right" and then I heard something - here he was wearing a quilted jacket and I heard the rustling of the material as he tried to back up, so I'd walk in the door.

Then he just jumped into the door way and almost stopped my heart- he was really big- 6ft plus and 225 or 235 but the shocker was he was older, had grey hair (and it stopped me for a sec, he didn't fit with what I thought an intruder looked like, I guess) but he had the meanest, coldest black eyes that I have ever looked into.

Then he lunged and reached for the front of my jacket, to drag me in - and I let the bags fall (reflex)to the ground, bottles and jars crashed and clanged, but now seemingly way off in the distance -

then he was trying to get me turned around and backed up against the wall- while I was reaching behind me to see if I was close enough to the doorway to turn and run to the back door out of the bldg-

right then he reached into his jacket pocket pulled a knife and my brain said "oh hell no, you are so outta here" -

I spun around and took off for the back door of the bldg thinking "oh God, please don't let me get stabbed in the back trying to get out of here" and I was screaming (though I couldn't be sure at the time) for my neighbor to help me-

But two very distinct things that I remember, one was struggling with the denial first (this can't be happening to me) and then the fear - I remember my first lucid thought being "you must get control here, you can not afford to panic or it's all over". And I kept hearing that thought again like every third thought or so -

The other thing that I remember, was while it took maybe 4-5 minutes from start to finish for the confrontation - once he jumped into the door way, everything seemed to shift into slow motion, it was very wierd, it was like a time warp that gave me a little more room to work within or a better perspective or something, I don't know but believe me, I needed it.