Temporary Archive: Suzanne Brockmann's Message Board

specified...I am only John's Goddess at this point...haha...there are so many of them and so many stories....but a couple of them have told me and I quote "you're mean":) cracks me up...I am mean because:
a) if you are going to play with my stuff you may not swear and "yes, that does include the F-word"

b) if you hit me with a ball more than once (if I had a dime for everytime I have said "don't throw the ball at me till I'm looking" I would be rich)you are gone...you should see me! I have two bruise on my right ankle/somehow they nailed both sides/one on the inside of my right knee (that hurts) one on my left thigh, one on my left arm and one on the inside of my left forearm....looks like I have been shoved through a grinder backwards then pulled back forward:)
And hey, it's only fair: the only time I have ever hit anyone was when I was batting one day: Picture this 8 year old girl/flaming red hair/worst case of fashion tragedy I have seen in a long time: green flapper gress(I am not making that up,I didn;t even know you could get a flapper dress that small) red-plastic beads (clashed horribly with her hair) and flip-flops...WHAT WAS SHE THINKING??? Anyhow, I hit the ball and of course she was looking down/ the ball hopped up and hit her in the lip....she starts crying which leads me to one of my favorite quotes (everyone together now:)))) "there is no crying in baseball" she says "you're mean" me...."great, go home and get some ice" She says can I have a Band-Aid?" I say "on YOUR LIP?" she says "you're mean" me..."great, go home get some ice for your lip" she says "can I have your batting glove?" me..."for YOUR LIP?" her...."you're mean"....me...rolling eyes and agreeing/I heard ya the FIRST 2 TIMES KID:) And then there is her brother...Everett...Lord he is a handful...he comes banging on my door the other day...and banging and banging so I finally go stomping out there and open the door "yes everett" he says "can you come out and play" (lol) I said "not right now, I am on the internet and please don't bang on my door like that.." he says "you're mean" I swear I didn't know whether to smack him or kiss him....but he had this big black eye so I said "everett, what happened to your eye?" He says "DUH! (shrugs) I already told you.....I fell off my bed"....I am obviously TSTL...I very calmly shut the door in his face:)And let's not forget their 10 year old brother Nathan...last night he is up to bat, so I hand him my bat...he says (scathing voice) "this is a GIRLS bat" now the kid is shorter than me and might weigh in at about 50 pounds/ wet...so I said "nathan, have you ever done the Chicken Dance...." hahhaahah he says "I want the other bat" I said "nathan do you want to do it right or do you want to do it wrong?" NEVER AND I REPEAT NEVER ask a ten year old boy that question....lol... he says "you're mean, you sound like my mother, and I want to do it the wrong way".....Me......"FINE, DO IT YOUR WAY THEN" Geez, kids these days:)
Then there is Derrick....He has some metal retardation....took him two weeks to work up the nerve to approach me...before he would sit across the street and shout stuff like "strike three, you're out"....cute as a bug's ear but must have some hearing problems also, because he is always shouting at me..at least he hasn't told me I was mean YET!......and another one....last night....(never saw this kid before) but they do tend to come out of the woodwork when they hear the bat crack...so this kid shows up and he looks like a mini-surfer...I wanted to say...you know this IS Western PA? But, I refrained:) He reminded me of one of the Hanson brothers...you know the singing group with the one-hit wonder "uuummmm-bop" (try to get that song out of your head now, HA:) This kid is like a Mexican Jumping bean....can't stand still for three seconds...all over home plate...so I finally say to him "Johnny are you doing the Chicken Dance , or playing ball?" he says "DUDE!" that's it just "DUDE!" They are a never ending source of amusement...the older ones are funny too...they think I can't hear them but when I get up to bat they all stop what they are doing (usually try to beat the crap out of each other....too much testosterone:))) and they watch and whisper...I can hear them behind me whispering about where they think I'll hit it to, or how far...apparently that is the only thing that counts...not that I consistently hit, but just how far...the pressure is enormous:)
c) the other thing is...there is always between 15 and 30 kids out there...and guess how many parents/adults? Me, my ex-husband and sometimes the lady who lives next door....it's so not right...I would never leave my kids out there, for hours on end without checking on them, with strangers no less....geez, these people have no common sense...
D) I do find that I am a great source of embarrassment to my own children ..they are usually playing (read, really hiding) in our backyard....then I hear stuff like "mom, no more softball" little ingrates:)They are 7, 6, and 4...Emma is the 4 year old and almost as bad of a dresser as the red headed/flapper dress wearing girl mentioned above.....I don't know where Em gets her fashion sense, but I quarentee it's not from me....I would like to call Mr. Blackwell on her myself....she usually shows up with a boa, sunglasses, whatever horribly clashing ensemble she has pulled out of the closet (usually her brothers shorts which hang to her ankles, a swimsuit and her church shoes...after all they are "so Tute, MOM!" (that's cute for all of you who can't speak Emma)and demands to be let up to bat next....which leads me to my next point in why they think I am mean:)
E) apparently if you demand good sportsmanship ie...you must field balls/not swear/not throw bats/not hit anyone/not call anyone names etc...you are mean
So see, I am just happy to be a Goddess in one instance...I'm not hoping for any miracles here:)