From:	SAM::PRICE        "Spider Joe"  4-DEC-1990 13:45:03.45
To:		@NIGHTS
CC:		SOCK_MONITORS.DIS
Subj:	New Sock Policy


__________________________________________________________________________

			      SOCK CODE
__________________________________________________________________________


The Human Resources Employee Conformance Standards Watchdog Committee
has discovered that not all employees are wearing socks with their
shoes.  This is not acceptable.  Our professional atmosphere is
maintained, in part, by the image our shod feet present to the
outside world.

Socks make the difference between success or failure for a company.
In fact, in the absence of more conventional demonstrations of
professionalism, socks are a key factor in our drive to appear
professional.  Beginning today, employees must wear something between
their shoes and their feet. 


To facilitate enforcement of the new sock policy, we are instituting
the following practices:

       (1) All employees must wear socks between their feet and their
           shoes.
       (2) All socks should be in matched pairs (i.e., each matched
           pair of feet should have a matched pair of socks).
       (3) All shoes should be of the kind that makes socks
           requisite. 
       (4) All socks should be without holes.
       (5) All socks should be completely covered by shoes and pant
           legs.
       (6) All socks should be tasteful.  Plain socks are preferred.
           If patterned, socks should be of a design that fits the
           image of the company.  Argyle socks are not acceptable.
       (7) All socks should have collars. (Sock ties may be required
           in the future.) 

Managers shall henceforth ensure that all employees conform to the
new sock policy.  Surprise sock inspections will be held at
management's discretion.  Sock monitors will be available to help
with periodic inspections.  Employees who do not conform to the new
corporate sock policy will be dismissed.  Employees who wear argyle
socks will be shot.

With this in mind, we have officially designated Mondays and Fridays
as "casual sock" days.  These designated days (with the exception
of those employees who have meetings scheduled with visitors) allow
employees to dress their feet casually in a manner appropriate for a
business office.  (This does not excuse argyle socks.)

Compliance with this policy will entitle you to participate in the
next round of employee sock options.

Support safe socks!

(signed) 
The Mgt


**************************************************************************


From:	SAM::PRICE        "Spider Joe"  7-DEC-1990 10:03:34.49
To:		@NIGHTS
CC:		SOCK_POLICE.DIS
Subj:	More Sock News!

Don't tell anyone, but I think I might have forgotten to wear socks
today.  I'm not sure.  You know how hard it is to get these cowboy
boots on and off.  I can survive this personal tragedy.  Still, my
little, insignificant problem has reminded me of how fragile is our
personal security.  I am reminded, too, of how, in the past, we have
always managed to help one another through times of trial.

It would be in keeping with that old fashioned DAVID spirit (from
days of yore) if we could maintain a pool of public, corporate socks.
Such a sock stock would be on hand for use by those foolish or
careless enough to come to work without their own.  I therefore
propose that we subscribers to Spider Joe's Magazine for Men (Macho
Tales! The Kind Men Like!) begin the First Annual DAVID Systems Inc
Sock Drive.  Beginning Monday, each of us should bring at least one
pair of socks.  Please note the following qualifiers:

	1.  Naturally, "One Size Fits All" is preferred.  The
	    community of corporate feet is a diverse and varied one,
	    and we wouldn't want to leave anyone out because of
	    faith, religion, personal belief, creed, conviction,
	    philosophy, world view, or size.
	    
	2.  New socks would be nice, but used socks are okay if
	    clean.  Really clean.  Very clean.  We're thinking major
	    clean, here.  Wash them in that detergent with the
	    little blue things.
	
	3.  Minimal holes might be tolerated.  Major holes will be
	    reasons for rejection.

	4.  Socks should be tasteful.  We are all average ladies and 
	    gentlemen, after all.  In keeping with this requirement:

	       Argyle socks will be refused.  
	       White socks will be frowned upon.
	       Tube socks will be burned in effigy.
	       
We will maintain a generous supply of public corporate socks in a
conspicuous place.  Anyone in need, anyone whose personal appearance
is jeopardizing our corporate image, can feel free to come to the
sock pool and drink of its cup (figuratively speaking, of course).
We can also donate a generous supply of socks to Human Resources to
help them out as their Personnel Personal Appearance campaign starts
to ramp up. (But be warned that socks so donated should not have
holes.  Any holy socks will have to be our little secret.)

The Publishers of Spider Joe's Magazine for Men (Macho Tales!  The
Kind Men Like!) encourages you to help get this campaign started on
the right foot.  Especially during this season of generosity and
cheer, lets put our best feet forward to make this First Annual DAVID
Systems Inc Sock Drive a real success.  A successful First Annual
Drive will give us a real toehold on plans for future drives (such as
the forthcoming First Annual DAVID Systems Inc Collar Drive, which
will remedy another major deficiency in current standards of dress).

Don't be a part of the problem.  Be a part of the solution.  Give!


**************************************************************************



From:	GUMMO::PRICE        "Spider Joe"  9-DEC-1990 14:36:33.42
To:		@SOCKS
CC:		SOCK_POLICE.DIS
Subj:	Foot Dickies

Of late, we have observed deviant, noncompliant employees violating
the letter and the spirit of the recently introduced Sock Code by
wearing foot dickies during the normal working schedule for regular,
full-time employees, which consists of a five-day period (Monday
through Friday), with work hours beginning at 8:00 A.M.~and ending at
5:00 P.M.~with a one-hour (1-hour) lunch break.

Foot dickies, as you all well know, are tubular constructs of fabric
or like material that appear as socks to the casual eye, but in fact
do not extend below the top area of the shoe.  Foot dickies cover
only the exposed areas of skin without providing the required layer
of fabric or like material between foot and shoe.  In our view, foot
dickies are the moral equivalent of thongs and flip-flops.

In response to this spreading corruption, please note the following
addendum to the previously published Sock Code:

       (8) Addendum: Foot dickies are forbidden during the normal
           working schedule for regular, full-time employees, which
           consists of a five-day period (Monday through Friday),
           with work hours beginning at 8:00 A.M.~and ending at 5:00
           P.M.~with a one-hour (1-hour) lunch break.

Obviously, we are not concerned about mere appearance.  The issue is
compliance.  Making, selling, wearing, exchanging, smuggling, or in
any other way dealing in foot dickies may be considered grounds for
removing employees from the Sock Option Plan.


**************************************************************************



From:	GUMMO::PRICE        "Spider Joe" 10-DEC-1990 13:23:07.73
To:		@SOCKS
CC:		SOCK_MONITORS.DIS
Subj:	Sock-O-Thon Update

The First Annual DAVID Systems Inc Sock Drive is in full swing.  We
all recognize that our professional atmosphere is maintained, in
part, by the image our feet present to the outside world,
particularly during the normal working schedule for regular,
full-time employees, which consists of a five-day period (Monday
through Friday), with work hours beginning at 8:00 A.M.~and ending at
5:00 P.M.~with a one-hour (1-hour) lunch break. The first thing
someone from the outside world asks when they visit our company is
"Do they wear socks?"  (The second thing they ask is "Do they wear
thongs and flip-flops?")

While the early results are disappointing, donations are rolling in,
as represented graphically by the First Annual DAVID Systems Inc
Official Sock Drive Sock-O-Meter.


                  __________________________________
                  The First Annual DAVID Systems Inc
                         Official Sock Drive
                             SOCK-O-METER
                  ----------------------------------

                                 ____
                                /****\  100   Our Goal!
 Official Pledge                |    |
   Chronometer                  |    |
  +----------+                  |    |
  |  Day  1  |                  |    |
  +----------+                  |    |   95
  | 10:22:00 |                  |    |
  +----------+                  |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   90
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   85
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   80
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   75
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   70 
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   65
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   60 
                                |    |                       
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   55
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   50 
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   45
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   40 
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   35
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   30 
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   25
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |                        
                                |    |
                                |    |   20
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   15
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   10
                                |    |
                                |....|
                                |....|
                                |....|
                                |....|   05
                                |....|
                                |....|
                                |....|
                                |....|
                                +----+   00




The First Annual DAVID Systems Inc
Official Sock Drive
"We don't know you...but we love you."
Give a pair today.
____


**************************************************************************


From:	SAM::PRICE        "Spider Joe" 11-DEC-1990 11:10:33.71
To:		@SOCKS
CC:		SOCK_MONITORS.DIS
Subj:	Morning Sock Update

Socks are up sharply this morning in heavy trading with a volume of
14.3 million pairs.  Response to the recently announced First Annual
DAVID Systems Inc Sock Drive has driven selected sock issues
significantly higher.  The broad sock market continues to move ahead
in strength, certain to break through the 2916.00 resistance level in
early trading.  Investors warn, however, that select narrowly-based
issues may prove to be the Achilles Heel of this market when Tokyo
opens for tomorrow's trading.  Experts continue to monitor the
progress of the Sock-O-Meter as the leading indicator of sock
futures.

In related news, the bottom fell out of foot dickies as investors
scrambled to meet their short obligations.  Our correspondent in
Paris warns that the narrowly based foot dickie market, only recently
the foot-loose and fancy free darling of the hot foot issues, has
overstepped its bounds.  Indications are that London argyle traders
will continue to toe the line, in spite of widespread consensus among
international sock market managers that the argyle market doesn't
have a leg to stand on.


**************************************************************************


From:	GUMMO::PRICE        "Spider Joe" 12-DEC-1990 10:44:46.90
To:		@SOCKS
CC:		SOCK_MONITORS.DIS
Subj:	Sock-O-Thon Update

Shhhhhhhh!  Listen!  What do you hear?  Nothing!  That's right.  This
is the Quiet Drive---no sock messages this morning, except for
messages telling you that we're not sending you any messages.  If you
like the idea of a Quiet Drive, remember...it can continue only with
your support.  So give now.  We don't want to continue interrupting
your normal working schedule for regular, full-time employees, which
consists of a five-day period (Monday through Friday), with work
hours beginning at 8:00 A.M.~ and ending at 5:00 P.M.~ with a one-hour
(1-hour) lunch break.  We like the idea of a Quiet Drive.  But we
must have your support.  The Sock-O-Meter will show you how much
progress we've made in the past few pledge breaks, and when we reach
our goal, the Quiet Drive will end.  So give now.  Our Internet
address is 192.84.112.214.  Network operators are standing by.


                  __________________________________
                  The First Annual DAVID Systems Inc
                         Official Sock Drive
                             SOCK-O-METER
                  ----------------------------------

                                 ____
                                /****\  100   Our Goal!
 Official Pledge                |    |
   Chronometer                  |    |
  +----------+                  |    |
  |  Day  3  |                  |    |
  +----------+                  |    |   95
  | 10:37:04 |                  |    |
  +----------+                  |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   90
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   85
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   80
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   75
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   70 
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   65
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   60 
                                |    |                       
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   55
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   50 
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   45
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   40 
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   35
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   30 
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |   25
                                |    |
                                |    |
                                |    |                        
                                |    |
                                |    |   20
                                |    |
                                |----|<---- 18 socks! Keep 'em coming!
                                |----|
                                |----|
                                |----|   15
                                |----|
                                |----|
                                |----|
                                |----|
                                |----|   10
                                |----|
                                |----|                                    
                                |----|
                                |----|   
                                |----|   05
                                |----|
                                |----|
                                |----|
                                |----|
                                +----+   00






The First Annual DAVID Systems Inc
Official Sock Drive
"We don't know you...but we love you."
Give a pair today.
____


**************************************************************************


From:	GUMMO::PRICE        "Spider Joe" 24-MAY-1991 12:23:33.59
To:	@SOCKS
CC:	SARTOR RESARTUS
Subj:	Big Sock Sale!

The Committee for Human Resources Employee Conformance Standards
Watchdog Group believes that our professional atmosphere depends on
the image each DSI foot presents to the outside world.  This creed is
the mainstay of our policy requiring employees to wear socks at all
times.  To aid this policy, the CHRECS Watchdog Group is now offering
Official DSI Socks for the benefit of all employees.  These
handcrafted, embossed, embroidered, and thoroughly (but tastefully)
decorated socks are a giveaway at $34 per pair, a drop in the bucket
considering that each individual sock is costing the company $21
dollars.

We have already ordered 11,000 socks (5500 pairs), but we expect them
to sell quickly.  Order yours now.  Remember, the more you order, the
more you save.  (The standard order of twelve pairs will save you
nearly a hundred dollars.  If we gave these socks away, your savings
would not be nearly as impressive.)  One size fits all.  As an added
incentive to purchase socks, we are pleased to announce that $4 from
each purchase will go to the Committee for Human Resources Employee
Conformance Standards Watchdog Group to support our Sock Monitor
program.


**************************************************************************


From:	GUMMO::PRICE        "Spider Joe"  1-AUG-1991 13:25:42.17
To:	@SOCKS
Subj:	Congratulations on a successful drill!

Attention All Employees.

This has been an officially sanctioned DSI ExpressNetworks Human
Resources Employee Activity Committee Picnic Drill!!!  Had this been
a real Picnic, you would have been instructed to turn to a Human
Resources Employee Activity Committee member for picnic conformance
and participation procedures in your area!!!  In the event of a real
Picnic, you would have had the afternoon off!!!  Provided you
attended!!!