Her response to you about expecting the bullsh**t when starting the business doesn't wash with me. There are a lot of unseen things in starting a business. HOWEVER, whenever you sign up for any time of military training, being deployed is a possibility. She is insulting my intelligence to ask me to believe she NEVER considered that.
Sorry, but I think she needs to go. She signed up, she's received the benefits. Time to do the hard work.