All right you guys, it's fascinating that you've attacked the theoretical discussions (complexity of organization limitations, etc. and granted these issues are important), but I would love to hear some coaching vs. teaching for Aly. (Oh hey, is that me playing the semantics game?)
And yes, I know this would normally cost big bucks, but we're a loving bunch, eh?
Here's my three cents for you on a very basic level:
First, you're right that ownership does not necessarily equate leadership, HOWEVER, the fact that you inhabit the role requires some responsibility whether you want it or not. For example, if you're a parent, you're in a leadership role. End of story. Either stand up or sit down.
Secondly, I think you need to decide for yourself to what extent you are willing to take RESPONSIBILITY and ACCOUNTABILITY. The degree to which you will grow is directly proportional to this. Hence Tracy's comments about burnout and the frequent desire to NOT lead or even manage. The pressure is wearing.
Thirdly, I think the basic drivers of leadership are the same: what do you want to accomplish and what needs to happen in order to achieve the goal. The challenges of achieving the goal will build the skills. Now here's the rub (and I can already hear Tom and Tracy), I think the important part of "growing" a leader is rooted in intent and not necessarily results. To what extent are you willing to stand up and take the risk of being wrong?