seriously. I'm 5'8 and I can handle a .41 just fine. That said, you might want to look at a 38 if you're a smaller female.
Or if you want to switch to one with a clip rather than a revolver, my new best friend is a 1911. Fits the hand very nicely. Less of a kick (at least to me) than my .41.
Oh honey... isn't it nice to be married to a man with a big gun (or two) ;-D